World Cup Final - Game Itself

NOTE: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST> YOU DON"T HAVE TO READ IT. but it's a good summary of the world cup final.

4.36 AM. Sitting here with my milkshake that looks like the Cheltenham Girls Uniform. And I just saw a good header. That was good. Too bad it was off a free kick awarded from a flop. Seriously, the guy falls down, clutches his ankle and rolls twice in "pain" but then gets up and runs away. Like, seriously, what a flop. Anthony is making some thing about Oranje Juice. I don't get it. Is it something against the Germany Uniform?

4.40AM. 10 minutes in. Nil all, as expected at this time. So apparently, the Dutch are in Orange. That makes a lot of sense, because its NED vs ESP. Ha (?)

4.41AM. Just after that Ramos (?) drive thing....the one where it could've nearly deflected into the goal. Seriously, just trap the ball or something. I dunno, maybe I don't know how soccer works. I can see that Spain is playing very aggressively.

Destiny~ VAMOS LA FURIA ROJA says:
*OMFG
*i am screaming
*like
*crazy
I think he's close to jizzing.

Observation #1. Puyol has a lot of hair.

4.44AM van Persie gets a yellow card. What a flop. I understand he got hit, but the guy was SCREAMING IN PAIN LIKE HE WAS GIVING BIRTH. Dude, it's just a kick to the shin.

4.46AM Another guy gets a yellow card. Puyol. Apparently, late challenges get a yellow card. That makes sense, but the guy was screaming out in pain, AGAIN.

Observation #2. Soccer players think they're giving birth every time they think they can get a free kick. That's their flopping technique. It's worse than the Laimbeer flop.

Observation #3. Soccer outfits aren't chosen from the best palette of colours. I mean, firstly, the Dutch are in bright orange like construction workers. And secondly, why are the Dutch in black and the Dutch in bright orange? Their countries' flags don't even contain those colours, iirc. Seriously, use more obvious colours.

4.51AM. A foul, looks like it. Oh another Yellow. That guy is dishing them out like candy. At least he wasn't rolling around and feinting labour. OH WHAT THE HELL?! HOW IS THAT A YELLOW CARD TO RAMOS?! SERIOUSLY WHAT?! He just clipped the guy on the toes. Literally on the toes. This ref sucks. That was a soft foul. 25 minutes in and all I've seen is one good header, 4 yellow cards and people falling over. :/ Is this what soccer is about.

Observation #4. Defender's role on offense is the kick the ball really far away and hope someone on their own team gets to it.

4.58 AM OH shit. another yellow. i thought it was a flop but i saw the replays and OH SHIT. THE GUY JUST COPPED A KICK IN THE CHEST. This guy is a MAN! Not like the players. He takes a karate kick with stud ON THE CHEST! LIKE A MAN! That's funnier in slow mo.
Xabi Alonso is chasing the ball. A WILD NIGEL DE JONG APPEARS! Nigel de Jong uses HI KICK! It's not very effective...
Hm, I've just realised that this post might be boring to most, if not all people. Oh well, I'll just try and make it shorter.

5.04AM. Sorry, but the commentator just said Puyol had "great body shape". I thought that sounded dirty.

Observation #5 The AHHH of the crowd has directly proportional to the shot's proximity to the goal.

5.12AM. One guys kicks the other in the inner thigh and they both roll away at the same speed. It was quite funny to watch.

5.17AM. Halftime. That wasn't all too exciting. Most exciting thing = Karate Kick. Oh well, that's what I get for being stupid enough to stay up. At least I got some work done. Apparently, Anthony fainted 20 times. "It was an absolute kick-a-thon". How'd you figure, Soccer Guy? This is soccer. But he was referring to the Dutch tactic of kicking Spanish players. It's like Hack-the-Shaq but Kick-a-Spaniard. Doesn't rhyme though... >_>

5.32AM Yay, second half... brushed my teeth by rinsing my mouth 5 times. hope that works. "surround by 3 orange shirts". Surrounded by 3 construction workers, more like.

Observation #6. There's a lot of contact. Like how bball has a lot of contact, except we don't kick people in the chest.

5.40am. oMG.....another yellow card. seriously.
5.43AM. OMG another yellow. just give him a foul, doesn't need a yellow. Craig Foster says everything has been justified, but i reckon its soft. Means soccer is soft.

5.47am. Apparently, Jesus just came on. Wonder who it is....
5.49.AM BREAKAWAY STRIKER. ROBBEN FAILS. FAIL FAIL.
5.53AM Bam. Another yellow. Professional foul.....but is a yellow worth it? oh i guess, its the final.

6.00 AM. Nothing has happened much, apparently there's a player called Jesus. there was this good attempt, but i forget. now its a free. too high. hits a cameraman instead.
6.04AM. Free header from Puyol. Too bad he missed. Man, it almost sounds like I know something about soccer. I don't. WOAH! CHEAP SHOT. The guy flops and then elbows someone. Talk about cheap shot.
Destiny~ VAMOS LA FURIA ROJA says:
*THIS IS WORSE THAN SITTING ECO EXAM
*SO PAINFUL
-_-

Observation #7. Pique needed to tuck his strings into his shorts.

6.10AM. Robben broke away again and didn't get a call and he started chasing the ref afterwards. The ref was faster than him. These updates are more spaced, i'm getting tired. Golly, it's still nil all. Puyol need a haircut. Apparently Robben is only 26. He looks so old....

6.22AM Oh my...It's going to go into extra time. At this rate, I've been awake for 18 hours. This can't be right, this is the holidays! I MUST HAVE 12 HOURS OF SLEEP.
A lot of people falling over....
6.31AM Oh I say, two good attacks, one good weighted pass to Fabregas then as a quick counter attack that ends up in a corner with a close header. Well, clsoe in soccer terms i guess.
Why did Iniesta wait.... should've left foot punt.

6,36am. 10 MINUTES INTO ET. I thought it was in, i don't know who kicked it, hit the side of the netting, looked in.

6.41AM. End of first ET half. More action than the previous halves. Hope we get a goal in the 2nd half of ET. I can hear sounds from upstairs, I think my dad is going to wake soon to go to work. And meanwhile, Anthony sends me a Bored of Studies link. ANTHONY! Its about International Maths Olympiad. You nerd. OH look Torres comes on.

6.46. Second ET, but more importantly, I CAN SEE LIGHT OUTSIDE. This is getting ridiculous. Oh hey, double yellow. That's a red. Free kick, lets see....misses. BAM Another yellow. Man, my dad has woken up and will go to work soon. My keys are squeaking... how odd. Golly...its so bright outside (not really) but i can see light and I'm not sleepy anymore.

6.55AM FINALLY A GOAL BY INIESTA!!! LOL TANTRUM FROM DUTCH PLAYERS AND HE GETS A YELLOW CARD THAT IS HILARIOUS
Observation #8 The Dutch coach looks so stylish.

7.02AM FINALLY! I can sleep now. Lol, the dutch team is throwing a tantrum. guh. nap time.