Funny Things People Say

I was going to do a post of funny/stupid things my basketball coach, but this couldn't wait because too many people say funny/stupid things. It's quite hilarious.

• "You got to plant yourself like a plantation." -- Coach. Plantation still sorta works, except it sounds stupid. We were laughing at him for the next few minutes but he didn't get it.
  
• "Bryan, you gotta stop taking things too far. You gotta stop trying to empathise things." -- Coach. We were practicing a basketball move and I tried too hard and failed (I tried to backboard slap but I missed the shot). So he tried to tell me to stop trying to emphasise the action, but said empathise. I corrected him twice then he told me to stop correcting him.
• "Hey sir, can I see the top of your nut?" -- Jason @ Mr Maricic. You don't need a context. It's hilarious just hearing it. Well, we were drawing and nut and bolt and well, he wanted to see the nut. I got told off for being hilarious, as I am.
  
• Jason: "Oh my god my set square is left-handed."
  Maricic: *chuckle* "A left handed set square... that's the funniest thing I've heard all day." It's not that funny because Jason said his set square was left handed (if you're stupid, you think there are left and right handed screwdrivers), but I found it funny because that is the highest quality of humour Maricic gets a day. It's pretty lame.
  
• Shirley: Thinks that Ekans, Arbok and Seviper are species of snakes. She thinks that Dubai is in India. She also hasn't heard of Goku and similarly, doesnt' know what Kamekameha (sp) is. She has had a deprived childhood.
  
• "What's Einstein's last name?" -- Erin. This might've been from a while ago, but that still pretty fail.
  
• "Why are they playing so many Honky songs?" -- Bryan. This was when I was in the Khalil Fong + Fiona Sit concert, both HK artists. It's pretty fail.
  

There's more but I probably forgot. 'Cos I dont' have much to say, I'll end with this: