100 Things

I got peer pressured into this. You know the drill, it's the 100 things you want your "perfect partner" to be. How silly. What a complete waste of time.

1. Is female. So simple, yet so crucial.
   
2. Is hot, I guess. But I have this theory that Asians are hot, they just aren't classified as hot. Story for another day.
3. Has money. Can't have a woman without money.
   
4. Has an income. Nothing like a woman with an income.
   
5. Won't ask for my money (too much/all the time/too much all the time)
6. Plays basketball.
7. At least likes basketball.
   
8. Will attend my basketball games.
   
9. Shares my dislike for soccer. God, that shit is boring.
   
10. Plays a sport. Nobody likes an old lethargic lady. Unless they are actually old so they are lethargic.
    
11. Is not a midget.
    
12. Is not a giant.
    
13. Is within the height range of: No more than 4 inches shorter than me and no more than 2 inches taller than me. This is flexible.
    
14. Is within the age range of: No more than 2 years and no more than some age younger than me but not something crazy like 10 years like Japanese people. This is also flexible.
    
15. Is flexible. Like, physically. Because flexible are crazily awesome.
    
16. Is awesome. This is very subjective, but whatever.
    
17. Is not a crazy obsessive bitch. OCD, depending on the severity, I can handle but crazy bitches who will kill K-Pop idols but giving them blood that will not match or those crazy bitches on TVB dramas are not cool.
    
18. Is a little bit loony because it's always funny.
19. Has a good sense of humour.
    
20. Appreciates my fine sense of humour. This is important.
    
21. Will actually get my jokes and puns and not just laugh awkwardly/laugh to fit in/facepalm.
    
22. Will make SIMILAR jokes.
    
23. Can stand my sarcasm. This is rather important.
    
24. Can see through my sarcasm and know what I'm saying is whether the truth or not.
    
25. Can stand my 'bluntness'.
    
26. Will stand my dissing.
    
27. Is not scared of me. This would be a problem if they were, like, they only like me because they are so afraid of what I would do to them. ... A little bit funny actually. Apparently I'm intimidating. Your thoughts?
    
28. Is a ninja. Ninja's are cool. With the sneaking up shit and all. Hours of fun.
    
29. Will not cheat. Cheating ninja's aren't cool. Too hard to find.
30. Can cook. Because I can't.
    
31. Can cook good food. I don't want to eat shit food all day, I could go to Maccas for that.
    
32. Will teach me to cook good food.
    
33. Can knit. Because I can't.
    
34. Can knit good scarves with tassles. (That's an invitation to knit me a good scarf with tassles for my birthday. But I don't want to know how.)
    
35. Can sew by hand. Because I can't.
36. Will teach me to sew by hand.
    
37. Will deal with my injuries that I seem to suffer on a daily basis.
    
38. Has a first aid certificate. This seems like a rather important thing to have in case I'm severely injured.
    
39. Knows Cantonese. Then she can speak to my parents because they speak Chinglish.
    
40. Knows Mandarin. Then she can have some weird conversation because we all know basic/shit Mando.
41. Knows a language I don't know.
    
42. IS MULTILINGUAL. Multilingualism is hot.
    
43. Has a good sense of fashion. For a number of reason, so they can look better standing next to me and tell me what to not wear.
    
44. (or at least) Has a sense of fashion that is practical/I approve of. Usually, if I approve of it, it's good fashion, to me.
45. Will have a dog. Because I want one.
46. Will have a HUSKY.
    
47. Will have another one when that one dies.
    
48. Will give them hilarious names. Like Biznatch. I don't even know why that's funny.
    
49. Will not name our children stupid names. LIKE ZELDA. My god that's stupid.
    
50. Will actually marry me.
51. Will actually have my children. #44 and #45 are important. Very, in fact. Perhaps more suited for later in life.
    
52. Will forgive me if I forget important dates.
53. Won't forget important dates herself.
54. Will give me useful presents. I don't like stuff that has no real use
    
55. Has siblings, because I don't want my children without any aunts or uncles. Cos that would be shit.
    
56. Has rich siblings. Because everybody loves a rich aunt and/or uncle.
    
57. Can play the piano. Then she can teach me.
    
58. Can play the guitar. Then she can teach me.
    
59. Can play any other instrument because that's pretty cool.
    
60. Is relatively fit. That's useful.
    
61. Is okay at sports.
62. Can do yoga. I want to learn that. Seems incredibly hard.
63. Does not mind me leaving things in a mess.
    
64. Will make me clean up (with me) if I leave things in a mess.
    
65. Will find things that I lose in a mess.
66. Knows basic computing and gaming terms.
    
67. Is smart. That always helps.
    
68. Will laugh at my failures.
    
69. Will let me laugh at her failures.
    
70. Doesn't hoard things. My dad hoards things. It's a bit annoying.
    
71. Is resourceful. My dad is resourceful. But most of it comes from hoarding things. So it's a good thing and bad thing he hoards.
    
72. Will let me stay up. Early sleepers are a bit like :/
73. Will stay up with me. A little bit of help is okay. Caffeine, tea, that sorta thing.
    
74. WILL GO TO HK WITH ME AND WON'T DISS HK. Gee, I love HK.
75. Will stay in a relationship with me even if I study in USA, despite HIMYM claiming that long-distance relationships don't work.
    
76. Has a bit of patience. This always helps.
    
77. Is kind. Kind people are nice, funnily enough.
    
78. Will tell me to restrain myself. Essentially, put me in my place.
    
79. Will rage at me to enforce #73. Nothing worse than failure through complacency.
    
80. Will tell me to keep fit/go to the gym if I look at bit on the down side.
    
81. Will accept my statement if I tell her she's on a bit on the downside. See #25.
82. Will be okay with practical jokes so long as nobody is harmed.
    
83. Will play practical jokes so long as nobody is harmed. Practical jokes are fun.
84. Will tell me to do things I should've done ages ago. On top of that, ACTUALLY get me to do these things. Like, immediately. This is what my dad doesn't do.
    
85. Is not crazily religious. Although, this is usually not a problem. It's only a problem when they're really crazy, like, will not go out with me because I do not share the same beliefs as her. (I probably got the definition of crazily religious wrong)
86. Does not have a OVERLY PROTECTIVE family. Those are a bit annoying.
    
87. Is sensible. Because I'm sometimes not.
    
88. Does not have a really dirty mindset. Like those who make a YOUR MUM or YOUR PENIS/VAGINA joke every conversation. Those piss me a lot.
    
89. Doesn't say "gay", "rape", etc. inappropriately. This is what I get for hanging around Lawrence, Codie, etc. a lot.
    
90. Will tell me off if I am a culprit of #85. Apparently I say "faggot" inappropriately. I will try and remedy that.
91. Will tell me to go to sleep earlier.
92. Will wake me up.
    
93. Will not injure me in the process of waking me up.
    
94. Will be cool with my heavy breathing.
    
95. Does things on time.
    
96. Is a little bit cheap. Everybody loves saving money.
    
97. Doesn't spend excessively.
    
98. Actually luff me.
    
99. Eye actually luff 'er
    
100. Will never EVER subject me to something as mindlessly boring as this.
     

What a waste of a post. I'm sorry, to those who expected something better. I didn't put much effort into this. And now I got to catch up on 30 effing pages.

EDIT: sew, not sow. jeez.
EDIT: forget, not forgive. jeez. #101. Can spell.